An Unsettling Thought...or Several

What is one thing that every single human being needs on this planet? No, not peace and love but food. Wonderful, nourishing food. Now a anorexic person might beg to differ, but for me I must say I love eating.

You know how many Asians will eat everything on their plate to be polite even if they don't like it? Well not true for me, I eat everything on that plate 'cuz I'm hungry and want to eat. But being "polite" is a pretty good cover up for being a fat ass no?

Now to the unsettling part. From every person that I've talked to who's been to Asia, they always mention how their stomach had to "get used" to the food after eating from the food stands. They always seem to mention it in passing and quickly switch their focus on how cool the temples were, or how many Naruto books they were able to buy. But reading between the lines I've come to the conclusion that "getting used" to the food means after street stand cuisine you get the fun of walking around with a plastic grocery bag taped to your butt for the next two weeks.

Those cool temples?
Yea you only went because it was the closest squat toilet nearby.

All those cool Manga books that got read?
Got to have some sort of reading material to pass all that toilet time.

I like my food to stay in for at least a few hours before it checks out of Kao Spa and Resort.

Since food doesn't want to stay in for too long results in the Seigi Karasaki diet plan (can ask him for the story behind that one haha). But in a nutshell its:

Step 1: Contract the flu
Step 2: Whatever you eat goes right out
Step 3: Severe stomach pains leaves you on a liquid diet
Step 4: You can now play the xylophone on your ribcage

Now some would say,

"Dan! Are you nuts? I need to LOSE weight for summer not GAIN it!"
"I had to run 4 miles to work off this jelly donut! I've been doing it all wrong!"

Well unfortunately for me, the act of eating does make me somewhat happy, and sucking my food through a straw just isn't preferable. Also having to read all of Naruto Shipuuden squatting over a hole in the ground while mosquitos sting my ass is not how I want to spend my time in Asia.

So to what I hope will amuse everyone, every time I see a scale in Asia I will weigh myself and keep track of a possible massive weight loss and me coming back like a stick. That is if my massive diarrhea will stop to let me remove the grocery bag for a few moments to allow me to weigh myself.

Current weight: 148 lbs

(Oh and whoever correctly guesses my weight at the end of my trip will win a prize. Guessing entries can be sent via email (dankaosays@gmail.com), facebook, or left as a comment here. Last date to submit your entry will be July 20th)