The Monkey's Paw

Children avert your gaze! Optimistic college freshmen go back to your dorm holes! Because your dreams might just be ruined. Don't say I didn't warn you.

When you were a kid and had your dream job, what was it about the dream job that made you want to do it? Was it the pay? No. There was potential job growth in the next 10 years? No. Was it because the company matched 3% of your 401k contributions? 3%? What's 3%? Why are there two circles over a slashy line?

You chose your dream job for two reasons. Because it was fun AND awesome. (Yes, in elementary school "fun" and "awesome" were two amazing different adjectives.) You wanted that job because in your mind all you'd be doing all day and everyday was fight fires, fly jet planes and shoot down bad guys, or be a video game tester by day and a marine biologist by night.

Kids you can achieve your dreams if you work for it, but many people underestimate the one thing that will turn your dream job into a monkey's paw. And that's PAPERWORK!!!

No matter what job you have, how awesome it is, or how much you get get paid, I guarantee you'll spend 90% of the time doing paperwork just to do your job. And that's the real tragedy. That dual astronaut captain and doctor job you went through 20 years of school for, then another 13 for training? Well if that doesn't suck all the passion out of the job, well the next 10 years of paperwork for 3 months of being in space will.

What's the solution to remedy this? The way I see it is, you better start getting used to it. The earlier you know the less of a shock it'll be and the easier it'll bet to cope with. Or just get so rich you can pay someone to do the paperwork for you. But if you've been slapped by reality like the rest of the working world, well early education is the way to go. The earlier we cope, the less likely we end up like Milton Waddams in Office Space.

Excuse me, I b-b-b-elieve you have my stapler.